Bloody poop

He still gives hugs to grumpy pants

I deliberately wrote “bloody poop” because it expresses both the reality of our toileting today and my emotions towards it.

I just felt defeated. No matter how well we work at getting Jess to drink, it feels like we could be winning for a microsecond …. only for him to race to the loo and have it all come out the other end. And it’s been bloody today. A friend who is a lab tech offered to do the c.diff test for us just so we could know one way or the other, but it’s been so forceful and fast that we just could not get the cup in there to get a sample for her. My lowest moment was wondering if this is internal bleeding, or just a tummy that is so irritated and with absolutely no reserves. We’ve done ultrasounds last week, so I don’t really think it’s that … but you know, I am a Mum, and imagination is part of my job requirements.

You want Monkey King, I give you Monkey King.

Finally, at around 4pm, somehow, I snapped out of my fog, hugged my understanding husband, and just started living in the right now. It was hard not to. India decided to paint Jesse’s face as a “Monkey King”. Thank God he does not know what  a monkey king actually looks like. Because I have a feeling if I met one, he would not look like this. But Jesse was thrilled with the results.

"Make sure you get a close picture of my Monkey King face Mum."

The kids have been so great. Indie lost her first tooth last night and is incredibly proud. Jesse keeps asking if all his teeth will fall out soon. Probably not before Mummy’s do. (My “stress dreams” are when I am talking to someone and my teeth just start falling out. It’s horrifying.)

The Monkey King and Queen and their bed fort

It was really humid here, so they spent the day building a fort in their bunk bed; doing crafts; and painting faces. Molly pulled apart forts, wrecked crafts and drank Jesse’s drinks as fast as they could build, create and pour. She started walking by herself a few days ago, and has been trouble ever since. We’ll hear her stomp, stomp stomp elephant walk (legs about one meter apart for balance) down the hall, and then a minute later the frustrated cry “Awwwww! Mooolleeeee!” will come ricocheting off the walls.

Molly Ruby in a rare, still moment

We are all in God’s hands. There’s no help for it, is there? You can’t entrust the month ahead to Him. Our peace does not work like that. It’s a daily handing over. Morning by morning. Tomorrow I will make sure I physically and spiritually cast my cares on Him before I even get out of bed, because I am pathetic when I try to manage alone.


7 thoughts on “Bloody poop

  1. Hi Kim – the strength of your family is so incredible! How fantastic that Jesse is not experiencing rejection!
    I have experienced the wrath of c. diff with a family member and sympathize with your frustration…..keep strong and take care.

  2. Wonderful post with those photos.

    I would like to try to reassure you about the bloody stools. Internal bleeding looks like coffee grounds; black and very grainy. Not fresh or red at all. While any blood at ALL is disconcerting and clearly not the norm, I think you will find when you ask the physician that this isn’t from an internal bleed.

    I am praying for his poor little bowel and surely his bum is terribly sore as well.

    What joy children can find in simple life while chaotic worries float over their heads only to be captured by the adults who are easily enslaved to them. Oh, to be a child!

    Praying for a worry-free sabbath for all of you,

  3. keep giving us updates matey always here always praying love you all loads, and your kids look gorgeous!! Keep Gods strength and know you are uplifted 24/7

    Take care my loves xxx Twace

  4. Oh ! my word how tough life is for you at the moment,there’s nothing worse than blood is there it puts me in a panic.I pray it’s just a poor little tummy thats had enough,and that,you will get the c=diff result soon and it will be clear,Godbless you Kim keep strong and trusting our wonderfull father. Sue x

  5. Wonderful pictures – I love the monkey king face and Indie’s “one-tooth-less” grin and Molly’s t-shirt! Somehow, I would have expected that t-shirt to be banned from sight right now! Praying for you all and that you will get some answers re the bloody poop. I’m thinking back to Kyle’s admission when we had to measure and test everything coming out and they gave us a commode that fits on the toilet seat – I’m wondering if they sell them at Shoppers in that medical equipment section or at a medical equipment store – they sure help when samples are needed.
    Love and prayers – Wendy

  6. Molly Ruby; what a lovely name and she is a lovely looking little girl! I had a cousin Ruby and one does not hear that name much any more. Now that she is walking….terror reigns! They are so much fun at that age!!!
    Dear Jesse….one wouldn’t believe what is going on in his little body. The Lord is providing healing, I’m sure. Difficult to believe but, ” His eye is on the sparrow”.
    You are Super Mom married to Super Dad!
    Love, Peace, All kinds of blessings,

  7. It’s like gathering manna, you can only get enough for the day. We cannot store it up.
    You are doing a great job despite your inner feelings! Jesse’s attitude is something that we could all learn from isn’t it? I wish he could sprinkle some of that positive fairy dust my way too, some days.

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